You never know how family will respond when telling them: a) I want to remove my breasts strategically to avoid our family legacy of certain early death and b) I’ve decided to do it without reconstruction.
Let’s start with the first one: “I want to remove my breasts strategically to avoid our family legacy of certain early death”.
Because we have had many family members die of cancer specifically tied to the BRCA gene mutation, this didn’t come as a shock to anyone. They were supportive and encouraging. Often saying “I’m so proud of you, this si really brave”. Which, hilariously. I have a problem with. I am not brave. The women fighting actual cancer, going through treatments, suffering with hair loss and ulcers and radiation lesions… those women are brave. I am just a surgery survivor.
All the same, I was relieved to hear that none had many comments about this step. All supportive and just wanted to make sure I asked the right questions. Lasting effects, plans for the full hysterectomy and what to do afterwards to maintain health without my ovaries.
Then statement b: I’ve decided to do it without reconstruction. When it came to the removal of the implants and choice to go flat with removal of the nipples. I got mixed emotions. My immediate family and friends were all on board as they watched the struggle with implants. Even my parents and the generation above in my family (which I thought would be hesitant) were really supportive. Then you had a few on the distant circle of people that you could tell my decision made them uncomfortable.
I was nervous to share my decision because, you know, in today’s day and age people feel comfortable telling you exactly how they feel and assume you want to hear every negative horror story about all the negative outcomes they’ve heard. My favorite is “why? why would you want to remove your boobs and look like a man?” As I have been reassured by my friends (both female and male): there is nothing manly about me and I’m not even a girly girl. But there is nothing that screams man because I don’t have boobs and nipples. Absurd.
I think this is universal for 99.9% of women. In having small boobs or no boobs, people don’t really notice. It’s not near as big a deal to the outside world as it is to the person missing the body part. We assume people are inspecting our bodies searching for the missing part, but in reality people in general are more concerned with themselves than others. It’s like high school all over again.
All said and done, my confidence post explant is WAY better than with the implants. I am me, flat chest and all. Sure, I do a bit more bench press 😉, gotta build the platform right? But, I am genuinely okay with who I am , inside and out. In the end, what else matters?
Comments About My Decisions From People
✅ My sister said, “you can totally pull off the no boob look”, and I must say being a person who works out and has muscles, it for sure helps. Have a strong body helps with many insecurities, including a flat closure mastectomy!
✅ “You look athletic” Most people don’t notice I am missing boob completely. They just see a person who is on the leaner side and assume, boobs shriveled up with workouts and breastfeeding 🤱
✅ “Being flat is so you, I didn’t see you as an implant person (speaking from the natural side). This was true. I needed to go the route of implants to start my journey to know that I didn’t want them, That I was okay being naturally flat.
❌ “You will regret this, I have friends that chose this and end up regretting it”. This may be true, as we are all different and ahve different needs and different body images. But that is for ME to decide. Sharing that some friends regretted it and then encourage me to do some research is one thing and good. But blanket statements about what my opinion should be…. no thank you.
❌ “No nipples? You could have them tattooed on”. Now, I understand that again some people need this. It is the way it is said, as I’m not complete without nipples so we need to manufacture them. For me, I am not going to get them tattooed on. When I look in the mirror I like to see my flat modified chest and that, not as a flat chest with nipples, like I just don’t have any boobs. For me, that would make me feel like i was trying to be something I am not. I do have a tattoo on my chest, just under my scar: Love Surge, with a burst. To always show that for my husband and family, I have so much love! I’m surging baby!
livingflatandstrong.com 
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